


Sickly Secret Santa

by nameless_wanderer



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor Lives AU, M/M, Secret Santa, and also my first time writing treebros so thats interesting, connor gets sick and evan takes care of him, i dunno ill prolly add more tags later, its just a lot of fluff, oh right, they all became friends, typical fluffy deh stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 07:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13161963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nameless_wanderer/pseuds/nameless_wanderer
Summary: Evan Hansen didn't usually celebrate the holiday season. But with Alana roping him into asecret santaholidaywinter gift exchange and his boyfriend Connor getting sick, it was shaping up to be an interesting holiday season indeed.





	Sickly Secret Santa

**Author's Note:**

  * For [noodleofsunshine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodleofsunshine/gifts).



> This is part of the dear evan hansen secret santa on tumblr (dear-evan-hansen-secret-santa.tumblr.com, not the other one), and is a gift for noodle-of-sunshine. Sorry if it's not up to par with some of my other work, I'm not used to writing treebros, but I'm grateful to have had the chance to write them, and even though I'm sure it's not what you were expecting, I hope you enjoy it. Happy holidays! (and if you have an ao3 account please let me know so I can properly dedicate it to you).

The mall was near the top of the list of Evan Hansen's least favorite places. It was always crowded, it was always loud, and you always stepped in something sticky. Yet here he was, walking around the mall in the busiest time of year and he was… actually kinda enjoying himself. He was enjoying himself in no small part thanks to the company of Alana and Jared. Of course, it was Alana's fault that he was here in the first place, so really he should be blaming her instead of thanking her.

* * *

 

It was about a week ago that she had announced that she needed a short list of things her friends would like to receive. When asked why she emphatically declared her intent to buy all four of them gifts. Connor had groaned, dropping his head on the table and Zoe had shook her head, amused.

"Yeah, I'm Jewish." Jared explained. "I don't really celebrate that Jesus guy or whatever you gentiles think is so great about this time of year. It's cold and it sucks. I mean, Hanukkah's ok I guess, but—" Alana rolled her eyes.

"So Jared's not on board." She turned to Evan. "Well, what do you want, Evan?"

Evan shrugged. "I mean, I'm half Christmas on my father's side but we don't really celebrate it. Mom and I rarely have time to do things together, we just like to look at the lights."

Alana looked unsure how to respond to that. "Zoe?"

Zoe laughed and shrugged. "I mean, you're welcome to try but like I don't even know what I want."

Alana looked over at Connor, desperate. "Connor?"

"Fuck. No," came his muffled reply.

Alana frowned. "What could you possibly have against gift giving?"

"I suck at it."

"Oh, come on, I'm sure that's not true."

Zoe looked over at Alana, a look in her eyes that indicated the story she was about to tell was both funny and would confirm her brother's claim. "Last time he got me a Christmas gift, it was _To Kill a Mockingbird_."

Alana pointed at Zoe, as if to indicate her approval of the gift. "See? That's not a bad gift. It's a beautiful story!"

"That I've already read." Zoe continued. "Thrice. We already had two copies when he bought me that one. It wasn't a special edition or anything. He legitimately thought I hadn't read it." Jared burst out into laughter. Connor pulled the drawstrings on his hoodie tight. Evan gently held Connor's hand to comfort him.

Alana sighed, seemingly defeated. "Ok, ok, we don't have to give each other gifts." Everyone at the table let out a sigh of relief or an expression of gratitude. "But I'm still gonna get each of you something." This amendment was met with anger and panicked expressions. "Come on, guys, this is our first Christmas—"

"Holiday," Evan interrupted.

"Winter," Jared further clarified.

"—as friends. And it's also gonna be our last, at least in high school. I need to let all of you know just how much you guys mean to me, how grateful I am that you're in my lives! And this is the best way I know how."

Jared was the first to respond. "Yeah, that’s real fuckin' sweet Alana, real heartwarming and all, but if you get us gifts and we don't get you anything, we're gonna feel like shit."

"You really don't have to get me anything though!"

"Shut the fuck up, Alana, everyone knows not getting a gift in return makes you look like an ass," Connor retorted.

"I may not have enough money to buy four gifts," Evan admitted.

"See? Don't make Evan look like an asshole, Alana," Jared said. "He's too good for that."

"But I want to give you guys something!" Alana whined. Despite her maturity, the others had noticed that she could be the most childish about certain things. And they could tell she wasn't about to let this go. Luckily for the others, Zoe jumped into action.

"Ok Alana, how about this: you can buy one person a present." The others looked at Zoe in confusion.

"Zoe what the fuck are you talking about?" Connor asked.

"The only requisites are that we don't have to get everyone gifts and we don't feel guilty for not getting a gift for someone. So what if we each got to give each other a gift?"

Connor sighed. "Ok, I see where you're going with this."

Alana's face lit up. "A secret santa!"

Jared held up his hand "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Let's leave the fat man in the red suit out of this. This is a winter gift exchange and nothing more."

Evan tried to follow the conversation to no avail. "Waitwaitwait, wait, wait. How does this… holiday—"

"Winter," Jared grumbled.

"—gift exchange work?"

"Basically," Zoe explained, "we put our names in a hat or some other holding device, then everybody draws another person's name, and we get that person a gift up to a certain value, let's say thirty…" Zoe looked towards Alana, who indicated she should raise the limit, "…five dollars?" Alana nodded. "So everybody gets a gift worth about thirty-five dollars and nobody has to feel guilty because we all get something and we all give something."

"I call Evan," Connor abruptly said. Evan blushed, shoving his face into Connor's arm.

Alana chuckled. "No, Connor, we have to draw. Otherwise it wouldn't be a secret Santa."

"Holiday gift exchange," Evan corrected.

" _Winter_ gift exchange," Jared said, exasperated. 

* * *

The names had been drawn shortly after that exchange, and by pure coincidence Evan had gotten Connor. In some ways, this made it easier to find a gift, because he was dating Connor. But in a lot of other ways it made it so much harder because _what the hell are you supposed to get someone you're dating?!_ He'd called Alana, panicked, and said he wasn't sure what to get for the gift exchange, and she had said he should come shopping with her at the mall. Jared had offered to drive the both of them and here he was, at one of his least favorite places, searching for a gift for his boyfriend, while Alana and Jared looked for a gift for their respective giftees (at least one of whom must've been in the party of three, he realized).

He walked back and forth through the stores, losing hope that he would ever find that perfect gift for Connor and fearing he would have to resort to buying a gift card. He was about to give up when something caught his eye. He wasn't sure if Connor would like it but… something about it called to him. He cautiously grabbed the item and nervously made his way to the front checkout.

"Hey." The man behind the counter was not much older than Evan, probably in college and trying to make some cash before his next semester. "Find everything you need?"

Evan looked hesitantly at the object. He put it up on the counter.

"Does this look like a good gift for someone?" Evan glanced around nervously, afraid he'd run into Jared and Alana. He quickly realized what he'd said and immediately regretted it. "S-sorry. That's, um, I know that that's, you know, that's a stupid question."

The man behind the counter looked amused. "Depends on who you're buying it for. A friend? Brother? Vaguely estranged uncle?"

Evan gulped. This part was always tricky. "Actually, um, it's actually for-for my boyfriend."

The man looked as if he'd been caught off-guard, but quickly smiled and nodded. "Right on. So what's he like? Does he normally like—"

"Um, I don't… I'm not entirely sure? He's, um, he's like really reserved. A little rough around the edges. Kinda, um, kind of a trouble maker, we didn't get along well at first. You know, devil may care attitude about him. Eternally looks like he just walked out of hot topic." Evan chuckled at this, and the man chuckled along with him. "Um, he loves reading. You just, you see him sitting in the corner, just reading whatever he can get his hands on and-and-and he just has this look like he's transported, like…" Evan looked up at the clerk who was patiently nodding along and felt his cheeks get red. "…and I'm rambling. Sorry, um, it's-it's stupid and I know it's really annoying so I'll just—Sorry."

The man chuckled. "No, it's fine. It's kinda sweet. And it's better than having middle age soccer moms yelling at me to check in the back for something that definitely isn't there." Evan laughed at this. "If I may venture a guess, I think he's going to love it. If for no other reason than because his boyfriend gave it to him."

Evan smiled sheepishly. "You think so?"

"Hey, whatever gets you to help fill my sales quota." Evan nodded, an amused smile on his face.

"Right, right, right, I still have to _pay_ for it."

"That you do. Thirty-four sixty-two is gonna be your total today." Evan handed over thirty-five dollars. Just within the buying range. But one thing nagged at him.

"I'm sorry, this is dumb, but do you have any bags that don't have the store name on them? I'm shopping with friends and—"

"Say no more." The man took out a larger, unmarked bag from underneath the counter and placed the now bagged item inside it. "Good luck with the gift. And happy holidays."

Evan smiled and nodded. "You too." He gave a semi-friendly wave as he walked out of the store. He'd done it. He'd gotten a gift for his boyfriend. Now he just had to wait and see if he would like it. He walked through the mall for several minutes. They'd never set some sort of rendezvous point or a time when they should meet. He pulled out his cell phone, about to message somebody when Alana's voice came behind him.

"Evan!" He turned around to see Alana, holding objectively too many shopping bags in her hands. "You find something?"

Evan looked down at his bag, then back at Alana "Yeah. Um, that's-that's a lotta, lotta bags, Alana."

"Oh, yeah. Just had to get some last-minute holiday shopping for relatives. You know how it is."

"Um, no, not really." He looked at the bags, suspicious. He knew how much she had wanted to buy gifts for all of them, and he didn't believe she'd put off shopping for her family until this late. But he couldn't directly accuse her without looking really bad. So he said nothing. "Do you know where Jared is?"

"I think he's over this way," she said, pointing just behind Evan. Evan nodded and the two began walking in that direction. "So, what did you get?"

Evan smirked. "I thought the whole point was that we weren't supposed to know what we got each other. Isn't that why it's called _secret_ Santa?"

"I thought it was a holiday gift exchange," Alana teased.

" _Winter_ gift exchange," Jared whined, appearing from a video game store the two passed.

"Is that a pretzel?" Evan inquired. Sure enough, Jared was holding a half-eaten pretzel. He turned it in his hand and looked back up at Evan.

"Sour cream and onion," he replied nonchalantly.

"So you didn't get anything for the friend you got yet, but you got a pretzel?" Alana questioned in disbelief.

"Sorry we can't all be as good at shopping as you are, Alana. And don't pretend we haven't noticed you've probably bought gifts for all of us despite our explicit instructions not to." Alana rolled her eyes.

"Maybe it's just Jared's pretzel, but I could use something to eat. Or drink." Alana's face lit up. "Can we head to Starbucks?"

Evan shrugged. "Sure. I mean, I don't really care."

"Fine by me," Jared said.

"Then afterwards you can actually find a gift for the holiday gift exchange, _Jared_."

" _Winter_. How hard is it to say _winter_?"

* * *

 

The three sat at a table in Starbucks, talking about life and other stuff as Evan sipped his seasonal Frappuccino, Alana her tea, and Jared his ridiculously strong black coffee. Evan still didn't believe Jared could like that crap, but he said it kept him awake when nothing else would. Jared was in the middle of explaining some meme, but neither Alana nor Evan were really interested. Alana was clearly planning something in her head with the way she was looking off into space, and Evan was trying to scrape the gum off of his shoe when a voice came from behind Evan.

"Hey!" Evan turned around and saw Zoe Murphy. Evan's smile grew wide seeing her.

"Hey!" She leaned down to hug Evan, which he gladly returned. Zoe walked around the table, hugging Alana and fist bumping Jared.

"What are you guys doing here?" Zoe sat down at the table next to Alana.

"Gift shopping for the gift exchange," Alana replied. "You?"

"Same," Zoe said, holding up a shopping bag from one of the stores in the mall. "Tee-bee-aitch, I'm actually kinda excited for this. And he'd never admit it, but so is Connor."

"Where is Connor?" Evan asked, looking around.

"He wanted to be here, but he's home sick with the flu."

Evan's smile fell. "What? He's sick?"

"Yeah. He's been confined to his bed for the past two days."

"What the hell? Why didn't he tell me?" Jared struggled to hide a snicker at Evan's outrage.

"Honestly, Evan, you should be grateful. He's a nightmare when he's sick. He gets so whiny and impossible to deal with."

"Regardless, I think I oughta know that my boyfriend is sick," Evan countered, annoyed. "I need to see him."

"You're just gonna get yourself sick," Jared said. "Plus I still need to finish shopping."

"Well, I mean," Zoe interrupted, "I'm done with my shopping. I could take us back to my place. But I mean, it's gonna be ugly. Like, really ugly. You sure you wanna come?"

Evan nodded. "Let's go," he said, standing up.

"Yeah, thanks for the company, guys," Jared said sarcastically. Evan rolled his eyes.

"You know it's not like that, Jared, it's just—"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, go be with your stupid boyfriend," Jared teased.

Alana grinned mischievously. "Don't worry, Evan. I'll be sure to keep Jared company the _whole_ time."

"I'm regretting this already," Jared said. Evan chuckled as Zoe ushered him out of the coffee shop and to her car.

* * *

 

"Connor, I'm home!" Zoe called through the house. Evan heard a muffled response, and though he couldn't be sure, he felt sure that he had mumbled "fuck off" at Zoe. Zoe looked at Evan and lowered her voice. "Mom and Dad aren't here, they're doing something or other today. Probably Christmas shopping like me. He should be upstairs in his room." Evan nodded. He took a deep breath and ascended the stairs. Connor's bedroom door was uncharacteristically open. It was only ajar, but it was still unsettling. He quietly knocked, pushing the door open.

"I don't want your fucking soup, Zoe, just fuck off—" Connor turned over in his bed, eyes widening when he saw Evan. He looked paler than normal, and his nose looked red and dry. His eyes appeared to be watering, and he hair was way messier than normal. He looked exhausted and Evan could tell. Evan offered a grimace and an awkward wave from the doorway as Connor looked at him, enigmatically. "Get the fuck out."

Evan recoiled. "Wha-what?"

"Why the fuck are you here, Evan?"

Evan stood up straight. "Because I'm worried that my boyfriend has been sick for several days and hasn't told me at all. Honestly, Con, would it really have been that hard to send a text? 'Hey Evan, sorry I'm not gonna be able to talk today, I have the flu.' Would that have been so hard?" Evan looked at his boyfriend, annoyed. He loved Connor but sometimes his logic was infuriating.

"Get the fuck out, Ev. Just… go talk to Zoe and leave." Evan scoffed. He shook his head and walked out of the room. He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where he saw Zoe eating some chips.

"So, how'd it go?" Zoe asked.

"Well he told me to get the fuck out, I called him 'Con,' he called me 'Ev,' so…" Zoe winced.

"That bad?" Evan nodded. "I warned you. He gets really grumpy when he's sick. It's impossible to deal with him."

"I have to do something. Is there anything I can help with?" Zoe shrugged. Her face suddenly changed, as if a thought occurred to her. She looked at the clock and turned back to Evan.

"His medicine is wearing off. He should probably take another dose here soon." Zoe winced. "I hate to ask, but could you possibly give him the pills and a glass of ginger ale?"

"Yeah sure." Zoe opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of ginger ale. She grabbed a glass from a cabinet and filled it up with the soda. She then pulled out a box of flu medicine and ripped a pair of pills from the packaging. She handed both to Evan.

"Good luck." Evan gave one last look to Zoe before leaving the kitchen. He climbed the stairs once more and pushed his way into Connor's room.

"I thought I told you to get the fuck out," Connor said.

"You need to take your medicine," Evan replied.

"Fuck no. It makes my head feel fucking weird."

"Connor," Evan said sternly.

"I'm not taking it."

"Connor, if you don't take this medicine, so help me—"

"What? You'll-you'll hold my nose until I open my mouth? You're grounding me? You're not my mom, Ev." Evan sighed. He he sat down at the foot of Connor's bed and handed him the pills and the ginger ale.

"Please take it. For me?" Connor rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Fuckin' low blow, Hansen." He put the pills in his mouth and swallowed them one at a time, sipping on the ginger ale intermittently. "You happy?"

"Yep." Evan looked at Connor, confined to his bed. He didn't seem too comfortable, and Evan noticed that he had only a paper-thin blanket covering him. "You look like you could use some more blankets. I'll be right back." Evan stood up to leave.

"Jesus Christ, I'm not cold! I'm fine."

"I'm getting you another blanket, Connor." Evan walked back downstairs to find Zoe sitting on the couch, watching some television show. Evan vaguely gestured to the TV, confusing Zoe momentarily before she understood what he was asking.

"Oh! Brooklyn Nine-Nine."

"Nice. Do you have any extra blankets?" Zoe shrugged.

"Probably some in the linen closet." Evan glanced to the side.

"Um, ok. Two other quick things: what is a linen closet and where would that be?" Zoe chuckled.

"A linen closet. It holds blankets and other things." She stood up off the couch, pausing the show. "Come on, I'll show you." Zoe led him to a closet down the hall. He opened the door and it was full of blanket. He wondered why Connor only had one blanket on his bed. Did his parents realize he had to stay warm and rest to get better? He looked up and down the closet, grabbing a few of the blankets he thought would be the warmest. He was about to close the door when something on the floor caught his eye.

"Zoe, will you bring that humidifier up to Connor's room?" Zoe leaned down and picked it up.

"You're the boss, hoss." Evan walked up the stairs with Zoe in tow and opened the door to Connor's room, only to find Connor kneeling by his bookshelf, looking for something.

"Connor!" Evan scolded. "Get back in bed right now!"

"But I was just—"

"Right now, Connor." Connor grumbled as he made his way back to bed, sighing as Evan put several blankets on him, each heavier than the last. It was only when he noticed Zoe setting up the humidifier that he protested.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Zo?"

"Hey, Evan's making all the calls, here, I'm just obeying orders," she said, holding up her hands in compliance.

"Traitor," Connor grumbled.

"Honestly your parents should've done this before I got here. I'm kinda surprised they didn't."

"Yeah, well Larry doesn't fucking go near me anymore, especially not when I'm sick, and Mom was in a rush to leave and just gave me the meds and bolted." Evan looked over, a twinge of sadness on his face.

"Well, I'm here now."

"Yeah, why are you here?" Connor asked once more. Evan looked away and shook his head.

"Done!" Zoe said from the outlet. She pushed a button on the humidifier and it started emitting a mist.

"This is fucking ridiculous," Connor mumbled. Evan sat down on the side of Connor's bed, placing a hand on Connor's forehead. Connor rolled his eyes, but Evan ignored this as he realized just how warm Connor was.

"When was the last time you had anything to eat?"

"Evan I don't need you babying me, I can take care of myself!"

"Zoe?"

"I think Mom got him some oatmeal or something this morning."

"Ok, I'm gonna get you some food." He turned to Zoe. "Do you guys have any chicken noodle soup?"

"Fuck that. I've had chicken noodle soup for every meal for the past few days now."

"Chicken noodle soup replenishes the fluids you're losing. Tell him, Zoe."

Zoe threw her hands up in innocence. "I'm here to follow directions, not to comment on them. Don't forget, I still have to live with him after you go home." Evan rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. We're getting you some food. Don't move and don't do anything until I get back."

"Don't worry, I can't actually move under the weight of all these fucking blankets." Evan ignored this as he led Zoe out of the room and into the kitchen.

"So he doesn't want chicken noodle soup… what are you gonna do?"

Evan shrugged. "I dunno." He walked over to the fruit bowl on the counter. "I mean, bananas are soft and easy to digest. I think they're supposed to be healthy, like good for when you're sick."

"Really?"  
"I dunno, they have potassium, so…" Evan sighed, somewhat defeated. Zoe chuckled a little bit, getting a smirk from Evan. "What's so funny?"

"Sorry, I'm just thinking of how less than a year ago you were just this… this shy—sorry, anxious—boy, who couldn't get out two words and had this too obvious crush on me," Evan blushed slightly at this, "and now, you've really come into your own, you're dating my brother, and you barely even stutter when talking to me, to anybody really. Hell, you're not afraid to order around my brother, the scariest guy in school."

"Come on, now, Connor's not that scary."

"No, dude, he's terrifying."

"Whatever," Zoe just laughed harder at this. "Anyways, it's amazing what a semester of talking to people and actually taking your meds will do." Evan began rummaging through the cabinets. "What other kinds of soup do you have?" Zoe opened a cabinet next to him.

"We got cream of mushroom, onion soup, tomato basil…" An idea popped into Evan's head.

"Do you have any bread? Like, normal bread? Is your mom still on that gluten free thing?"

"I managed to sneak in like a half a loaf of white bread a week ago. Why?"

"Get out the tomato basil, the bread, some butter, and—"

"Slices of cheese," she finished, understanding. "I got you."

"I'm gonna check on him." Evan grabbed the banana and headed back upstairs. He walked into the room to find Connor on his phone. But it didn't seem like he had moved at all. "Hey Connor," Evan said, handing him the fruit. "Zoe and I are working on lunch for you downstairs, but in the meantime, have this."

Connor chuckled. "Oh, I see. You're trying to give me your banana."

"Really? Even when you're sick you're like this?" Connor laughed harder on this, but it quickly devolved into a cough. "Whoa, are you ok Connor? Get a tissue."

"Jesus, Evan," Connor coughed again, "it's just a cough. I'm fine." Connor peeled the banana and took a bite.

"Hey, I'm sorry I'm being… protective, or overbearing or whatever. It's just… you go MIA for a few days and I just figure, you know, 'oh, he needs some space,' you know? But then I find out your sick and I realize I could've been helping you, but… you just didn't say anything. And I guess I overcorrected. But I care about you so much, and it bothers me that you weren't letting anybody help you."

"I wasn't letting anybody help because I don't need any help. I can take care of myself." Connor sneezed and wiped his nose on a tissue as Evan watched on. He noticed Evan staring and became self-conscious. "What?"

"How did you manage to make wiping your nose adorable?" Connor began blushing. "Alright, I'll be back with food in a few minutes. Just rest for now." Evan put his hand on Connor's shoulder and lingered for a few seconds before walking back downstairs once again.

"Hey," Zoe said, "I've started on the soup. You got the sandwich?" Evan nodded.

"I swear, I'm gonna get a workout just walking up and down these stairs." Zoe laughed at this as Evan prepared the skillet. He spread some butter on the outsides of the slices of bread, putting a few slices of cheese in between the two. He put the heat on medium low and placed the sandwich on the skillet. He and Zoe chatted as they cooked, mostly making small talk, wondering how Jared and Alana were getting along without Evan. A few minutes later, the sandwich was perfectly golden and the soup was warm. Evan got out a plate and a bowl as Zoe poured another glass of ginger ale. Just as Evan was wondering how they'd carry a bowl, a plate, and a glass upstairs, Zoe pulled out a tray from a cabinet, carefully placing the food and drink with a practiced balance that indicated she had years of experience facing this precise predicament.

"Mother's Day, sick days, TV dinners… our family loves eating everywhere except the dining room so…" Evan nodded.

"Can you help me carry it up?" Zoe grabbed the glass off the tray as Evan carefully grabbed the tray. She followed him as he carefully climbed the stairs yet again. He carefully walked into Connor's room, where Connor was reading a book in bed. The blankets seemed off-center and there was a noticeable space on the bookshelf on the other side of the room.

"Connor, did you get out of bed to grab a book?"

"Do you want to know the answer to that, Evan?" Zoe placed the glass of ginger ale on Connor's bedside table.

"I'm just here to deliver soda. Get better soon, bro. I'm out." And with that, Zoe left the room and went back downstairs, leaving Evan and Connor alone. Evan held out the tray.

"Um, we made you, um, tomato soup and grilled cheese. So, um, dig in." He handed the tray over to Connor. Connor stifled a chuckle.

"Reminds me of rainy days. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket."

"Me too," Evan agreed. "Well, um, you dig in. The medicine should be making you drowsy, so, eat up and then try to get some sleep." Evan stood up to leave. He was done fighting Connor on whether he should take care of him.

"Hey, Evan? Evan? Evan, please don't go." Evan walked back to Connor's bed and grabbed Connor's hand.

"I'm right here, Connor."

"I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I'm such an ass when I'm sick… I just didn't want you seeing the worst of me." Evan frowned. He understood that predicament all too well. But he also knew why this thinking was irrational.

"Connor, I want you. I want to be with you. The best parts of you, the worst parts of you, I want it all." Evan leaned in to kiss Connor, but Connor put up a hand to block him.

"No, Evan. You're just gonna get sick."

"I don't care." Evan leaned in, kissing Connor slowly, savoring the feeling of their lips touching. It definitely wasn't their best kiss, Connor was sick and tired, and Evan was more involved than Connor, but it was honest and sweet. He didn't regret going for it at all.

Connor ate under Evan's careful watch. Evan sat on the edge of Connor's bed, just enjoying his silent company as the sick boy read. Connor fell asleep soon, but Evan stayed by his side. He stayed until Cynthia returned home several hours later, joking with Evan about "relieving him of his watch." Evan nodded, kissed the sleeping boy's forehead, and left his room, hoping Connor would be better soon and he could kiss him all he wanted then.

* * *

 

It was several days since Evan had taken care of Connor, and he was seriously regretting that kiss. Because now he was confined to his bed and feeling as sick as a dog. He had thrown up several times and could not count how many times he'd fallen asleep in the past twelve hours alone. He had understood now why Connor didn't text him when he had been sick. Still, Evan had texted his friends, saying he was ok but he was gonna be gone for a few days. Thank god their winter break had just started up, otherwise he'd be in huge trouble at school. His mother had left for work hours ago, and most of the day he'd just stayed in bed, drinking sprite (they didn't have ginger ale in the house) and watching videos on his phone. He was in the middle of some youtube video when he heard a knock at his door.

"Mom?" he mumbled. Had she gotten off of her shift early? He shook his head. "Come on in," he said a little louder. It wasn't like her to be waiting to come in for so long. Or to knock even. The door opened, revealing that it wasn't his mother at the door after all. Alana stepped in with a smile on her face, followed by Connor, then Zoe, then Jared. They walked around the room, sitting down around his bed.

"Guys? What are you—why did you knock on my door?"

"Well, I suggested a Christmas carol entrance," Alana started

"But I told her that was dumb and clichéd and overdone in every TV show ever. There's also no way the four of us would sing in tune with each other," Connor said.

"Speak for yourself," Zoe replied, "I have a fantastic singing voice."

"No, no, no," Evan said, chuckling, "I mean, what are you doing here?"

"Well, it's December twenty-fifth, and you know what that means," Alana said.

"Four days after the solstice?" Evan joked, looking over at Jared.

"It's Christmas, Evan. Get your head out of your ass," Jared said.

"What happened to all the winter stuff?" Evan asked.

"Commercialism has gotten to me. It's the Christmas season, and I've fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. I'm gonna shove an entire Christmas tree up my ass."

"Jared, no!" Zoe exclaimed

"Anyways," Alana interrupted, "we figured since you weren't doing anything we could have our holiday gift exchange—"

"Secret Santa," interrupted Jared.

"—today. Here, with you." Evan smiled. A year ago, he couldn't imagine having friends come over to his place, much less of their own volition on an important holiday. "So who wants to go first?"

"I do," Connor said surprising everyone.

"I thought you didn't like gift giving," Zoe teased.

"I think my biggest problem was that I was getting gifts for the wrong person," Connor said. "So, Alana," he handed Alana two wrapped rectangles tied together, "I hope you like them." Alana's face lit up, and she greedily ripped through the wrapping paper. Both of the presents were books, the first a larger hardcover Evan recognized.

"Go Set a Watchman!" Alana exclaimed. "That's Harper Lee's second novel!"

"Yeah, I didn't know if you'd read it already, so I got a backup book just in case." She opened the second to reveal a paperback with the words _Ella Minnow Pea_ on the cover. "It's a really good book, I think you'll really like it." Alana walked over and hugged Connor. He didn't hug her back, but didn't back away from the hug, and that was a win in Evan's book.

"Thank you, Connor. I love it." Alana reached down to grab her gift. "My turn!" She handed the small bag to Zoe. Zoe removed the paper from the bag until she was left holding a small metal device that Evan almost recognized.

"A capo! Sweet, I've been needing one of these. Thanks Alan—" Zoe turned the capo over in her hands and gasped. "You did not." Alana shrugged.

"I have an uncle who engraves things. No big deal."

"This is the awesomest personalized capo I've ever seen. You outdid yourself, Beck." Zoe gave Alana a quick hug. "Alright, my turn. Jared," she passed over a small envelope, clearly containing a gift card, "merry Christmas, since you're in the spirit now." Jared jokingly shook the envelope, getting a laugh from the others before he opened the package.

"Ten dollars to…" Jared sighed, "Lush." The others laughed at the inside joke. "If you had to make my gift a shitpost, couldn't you have splurged a little? The limit was thirty-five dollars."

"I mean, I could've," Zoe admitted, "but then I couldn't have gotten you twenty-five dollars for steam," she said, tossing over a second gift card.

"Whaaaaaaaat?!" Jared exclaimed.

"Figured you could put it towards buying Overwatch. You still owe me a few rounds," Zoe joked.

"Oh, you are so on, Murphy. Ok, so, Evan," Jared handed the boy in the bed wrapped gift as well as a card. Evan started with the card, which had a simple design with two snowmen on the front. He opened it and the inside said _Merry Christmas to my best friend_. Only Jared had taken in upon himself to add in the word "family" between the phrase _best friend_.

"Real touching, Jared. I might cry," Evan deadpanned.

"Just open the gift, smartass."

"Really? You're calling _me_ a smartass?" Evan rolled his eyes and opened the gift. Evan held his breath. It was a gorgeous journal, hardback with a tree on the cover. Evan opened it, and Jared had already written _Property of Evan Hansen_ on the inside.

"Turn to the back cover," Jared said. Evan did, somewhat skeptically. The final page had two handwritten messages. The first said _To my closest friend. Write something that will change the world._ The second said _The roots of wisdom feed the tree of knowledge_. Evan felt his eyes water up. "Ok, don't actually cry on me, Hansen."

"I'm sick, I can do whatever I want," Evan said. "Thank you, Jared." He sighed. "Jared, can you grab the bag from my closet?" Jared went to the closet and pulled out the same bag he had left the mall with so long ago now. He hadn't had time to wrap it, and he now felt kind of embarrassed. "Can you give it to Connor?" Jared handed the bag to Connor. "Now will you kiss Connor on the cheek for me?" he joked. The others laughed at this.

"Don't test me, Evan," Jared warned, "cause one of these days I'll actually do it." Connor opened the bag and pulled out a blue hoodie. He looked at it, stunned.

"I know it's a lot brighter than most of the clothes you wear, but it looked really warm, and um, you know. Blue is kinda my color so I figured… I mean, it's stupid, and there's a receipt in the bag if you don't like it, so—"

"Shut up," Connor interrupted. He immediately took off the jacket he was wearing and put the blue hoodie on. Evan smiled.

"You look good in blue."

"I love it," Connor said. "I love you."

"Love you too, Connor."

"Get a room," Jared groaned.

"Ok, I gotta confess," Connor said, pulling another gift out from his bag, "I got you a gift too, Evan. I know we agreed not to, but what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't get you a gift?" Connor handed Evan the gift bag. Evan reached into the bag and pulled out the fabric at the bottom, revealing a black striped polo. "I guess great minds think alike," Connor said sheepishly. Connor moved in for a kiss, but Evan stopped him.

"Connor, you just got better. If you kiss me you're just gonna get sick again."

"Pretty sure I built up an immunity."

"Connor," Zoe said, "for the love of god do not kiss him right now, I'm not gonna deal with an endless cycle of you getting sick then Evan getting sick." Connor leaned in and kissed Evan anyway. "Oh my god." Evan laughed and shook his head.

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah," Connor admitted, "but I'm _your_ idiot."

"Oh my god, Connor, that's the worst line you could've possibly used," Jared complained.

"I guess now's as good a time as any," Alana piped up, "to admit I actually got all of you presents as well." Zoe laughed. Jared and Connor protested as she pulled out several gift bags. Evan just took it all in, not wanting to miss a moment. They stayed until late into the night, watching TV, playing games, and eventually singing a Christmas carol at Alana's insisting. Evan stayed awake as long as he could, enjoying every moment of the best Christmas he'd ever had.


End file.
